Album

It's been awhile,I want to create an album of us.

But to prevent a potential break down, I have not take any action yet.

This monsoon, raining everyday with the beautiful topical storms, like a lot of people, I choose to stay home.

Browsing my friend's albums, their trips to Shanghai,Hangzhou...their lives in France and in London staying with their boyfriends, girlfriends.

I got my laptop back, and restored all the albums of my journey of these years, I remember how great the time was, and how I was loved and cared by the men I loved.

Simply being myself without worrying about if I looked good enough, if I dressed the way he likes, or if he thought I was aimless sharing so many ideas.

Someone told me " It's OK baby, we will work things out together, don't worry"

We did worked things out together.

Someone took care of me when I was unwell, watching me sleep, given me the warmth that I almost had never received from my family.

Someone said to me when we said our last goodbye " baby, you are much better than you think you are, you brought a lot of colors in my life, and you are gonna shine with these colors"

I didn't know what to say, but now I finally figured out

" I did not bring any colors to your life, you brought the colors out of me, and when we are not together, I don't see any colors that I saw with you."

If I am the color palette, you are the canvas.

Part of me will stay forever empty for the colors I used on you, you will stay forever tainted with the pictures on your heart.